Rain on Me

July 1, 2009

While it may be a timeless classic by The Who (it’s actually “Reign On Me” for you nitpickers), I don’t know if I can take any more of it. Rain…horrible $%&*@% RAIN!!!

I get it. Water is soooooo good for the environment and it’s critical to the earth’s existence blah blah blah. It also makes sea monkeys grow and tends to flood my basement. I’m no Dick Albert but I’d say the New England area is playing with house money with regards to all this rainfall.

It’s July and the last time I saw the sun it was through the haze and fog caused by the rainstorm that preceded it. If I recall correctly last Fourth of July was a complete washout and this year stands to be no different. Actually the forecast looks to be in our favor by Friday but we’ve all heard this song plenty of times. I’ll believe it when I feel it…the sun that is.

It will be a sunny day in my book when I break a sweat sitting still. It will be a sunny day when my Irish skin burns five minutes after exposure to the sun (i.e. the temp breaks 72 degrees). I want to be concerned that my beer will get warm if I don’t drink it in an efficient (yet responsible) time frame.

It will be a sunny day when I don’t have to plan my wardrobe around multiple weather scenarios. Truth be told I don’t do much planning per se of my wardrobe. The constant rain forces me to find weather appropriate clothing or face the prospect of showing up to work looking like the kid pictured in this article.

It will be a sunny day when I can play a round of golf. Strike that, being the father of a two year old it will be a cold day in hell before I can play a round of golf. Maybe if the weather improves the Hillbetty will let me head out to the course. I will take your advice and keep dreaming.

It will be a sunny day when I can mow my lawn without it feeling like I’m on a reality show where I need to mow the lawn as fast as possible before I get washed away by a flash flood. Forget weed whacking. Get the mower started and get moving. No time for detail work – there’s three inches of rain just around the corner!

It will be a sunny day when I can take the Hillbitty outside with out the assistance of a life jacket or inflatable raft. I empathize with her frustration from not being able to get out of the house once in while. Getting out of the house would be a great improvement to my own sanity as well. If I have to sit through one more episode “Caillou” I will gladly commit myself. The Hillbitty is obsessed with this God awful show. Every episode it’s the same thing…the kid breaks something or some other kid does him wrong and he’s always “disappointed”.

Eventually Caillou learns from his mistakes or learns to forgive the other kid and we all live happily ever after. I’m quite sure the Hillbitty is skipping the “learn from your mistakes part” while getting a PhD in whining. Hopefully it’s just her terrible twos. The show is terrible and if I am within earshot of it I will throw my TV out the window. A few sunny days would greatly lessen my alarming distaste for Caillou.

The forecast says a good weekend is ahead so I’ll give it a 50/50 shot so as to not be “disappointed” like my little buddy Caillou. (In a high pitch whiny voice) “Eww Mowmmy my feeties are getting wet wah wah wah.” Geez maybe what bothers me so much about Caillou is that I whine just like him. No, no that can’t be. Caillou is a wuss and I am a man speaking for the people of the Parkway…or something like that.

Regardless have a very happy, restful and safe Fourth of July! Giddy up.

Written by The Bellevue Hillbilly · Filed Under Bellevue HillBilly